Let's get the party started!

It seems fitting to begin my blog on one of the most angst-ridden days of my life; the first day of school!  Sigh.  The addage "to have a child is to have your heart walking around outside of your body" is certainly never more true than on the first day of school.  I dropped off two little pieces of my heart this morning. 

I love my children so much, and I truly believe that they are brilliant, beautiful and charming--and I want them to be treated accordingly!  Will their teachers see how special they are?  Will their classmates like them?  Will they have enough self-confidence to approach other children and make friends easily?  Again, sigh.  I'm not there to be a buffer between them and the world.  Which, let me tell you, I take as my full-time job and very seriously.

I mentioned to a teacher as we toured the school yesterday that I'm not ready to send my kids out into the world just yet.  She laughed and said "it's a cold, cruel world out here!"  She was joking of course, because she doesn't see school the way a parent sees it.  Yes ma'am, it IS a cold, cruel world out there!  Kids' self-esteem can take a brutal beating in school.  A child that is constantly ridiculed or bullied can develop a complex that is difficult to work through.  But...not to be too dramatic...it's only 2nd grade for Connor and Pre-K for Cooper, so hopefully we aren't facing the big guns of playground taunts this early.  I also don't want to underestimate the power that words have....so I will make sure to season my words with kindness and love.

So, I'm going about my day with my typical deer-in-the-headlights look on my face that is so common for me on this first day of school, wondering what the boys are doing right now...and right NOW....and right NOW!  I really can't wait for pick up time!  3:25 feels so far away!  My hubby told me as he walked out the door to go to work, that I should sit down and relax for 30 minutes while Sophie takes her nap.  Uhm, sorry...no can do!  I'm too full of nervous energy for my boys!  Yikes!  I can't sit still!  I've already vacuumed half the house, and I'll be onto the next part as soon as my vacuum recharges! 

Connor, poor dear, was so sick to his stomach this morning!  By the time we got to the school, he REALLY didn't want to get out of the van!  I've got pictures of him on every single first day of school with the exact same look on his face:  sheer terror!  Poor little fella'.  He was so nervous.  The construction and heat kept the kids from lining up outside the school like they normally do, so he went straight to his classroom, which was really quiet--so that's pretty intimidating.  And for the first time EVER, he said "no" when his teacher asked him if he wanted to hug me!  ACK!!!  NOOOOO!!!  I'm not ready for my little man to reject public displays of affection with me!  I'm hoping it was the nerves of his first day and not going to be a habit with him!!!  And I'm trying to comfort myself with the fact that when she asked him, he was already seated at his desk and I was all the way across the room at the door.  **sniff sniff**!

Cooper's own words perfectly described him this morning.  When we were en route to school, he said "Mom?  I'm freaked OUT!"  Poor little man...he really was!  He kept saying he wants me to take him into his classroom and stay with him.  Man oh man I hated that I couldn't do that!  But he's got the same teacher's helper this year that he did last year, and his new teacher seems to be a super-nice lady, so I'm confident that I've left him in capable hands.

So, they're off!  Out of my care and into another's...Lord, bless their teachers today as well as my boys!  Keep them safe from harm.  Help ME to remember that no weapon formed against them will succeed!  Cover my boys with Your love and help me to be still and remember that You're in control, and that this is but a small worry.