Things I don't want to forget

There are moments in every single day of mothering that take my breath away.  There are times in every day that I make myself stop, focus, and simply soak in the joy of these little ones.  They do such funny things and make such cute faces and say things that melt my heart.  I don't want to look back later in life and think "I wish I had enjoyed the moments".  I am making sure that these moments don't pass me by!

There are also moments that I don't want to forget that may not belong on a Hallmark greeting card.  I love the pictures of my kids that I have captured when they are screaming or crying or red-faced with fury.  I want to remember these moments, not just because they are real elements of my life and our days with our little ones, but because I don't want to forget what they feel like...so that I can sympathize with other mothers who are going through the exact same thing.  I hope I remember these moments with my little ones, so that when they in turn have little ones who are having these moments I can (silently) laugh and remember how it felt to mother a child in the throes of a meldown!

Just the other day, I was trying to take care of back-to-school things with the boys.  We were at the school to meet their teachers and see their classrooms before school began for the year.  Sophia, however, was less than thrilled to be pushed through a hot school in her stroller, strapped down and confined, and only moving in the direction that she was being wheeled in my ME.  By the time we got to Cooper's classroom, she'd had enough.

She was wriggling and squirming and fussing and squealing and making such a racket that I finally let her out of her stroller.  She immediately began running through the classroom, touching things that she shouldn't and putting things in her mouth that were--shall we say--less than edible.  I was trying my best to focus on Cooper and his needs; he was checking out his new home-away-from-home, and I was busy answering his questions and taking photos of him.  Little Miss Sohie, however, needed some attention as well!  She was into EVERYTHING and it became a problem, so I had to try to force her back into her stroller.

Ever tried to force a toddler into their stroller when they don't want to go?!  Let's just say it's...difficult.  They have a way of straightening out and seemingly lengthening their bodies so that they are completely stiff and inflexible.  When you try to gently push them back into a normal shape that will fit into said stroller, the screaming escalates and the kicking/flailing increases. 

I'll admit; there have been times when I wanted to give in to each of my little ones and just let them have whatever in the world they were screaming for or trying to do/not do!  Many times!  But I decided before I got to those situations that when I put my foot down as a parent, it has to stay firmly planted.  I am trying to equip my children to succeed in life, and the lesson that Mommy is in charge is one that must be learned early and well.  So I don't walk away or give in.  I wait it out and try to hang on to the last shreds of my sanity and patience and finagle the unwilling baby into the stroller.

I was walking through the mall with my sisters last month, and Sophie had her first public meltdown.  She wanted to A) walk, and B) not where it was safe or in the direction we were supposed to be going.  I had to pick her up and carry her, screaming, through the mall and to our car.  I actually started laughing about it, because it struck me as so funny.  Here I am, carrying this little baby girl that was dressed to the nines in frills and had a huge flower on her head--cute as a button--and she was acting so UGLY!!!  She was screaming at the top of her lungs and doing that violent "put me DOWN" squirm that makes it so hard to hang on to her; attracting the stares of everyone in the vicinity.  And since she's my third child, I'm no stranger to public humiliation.  This wasn't my first time at that rodeo, so it was quite funny.  And in that situation the only thing to do is LEAVE.  Find the nearest exit and do just that--EXIT!!!  And laugh on your way to the door, if you can!

And the car seat is no better!  That baby doesn't want to sit?!  Good luck trying to make them!  You think it's easy?  If the thought "well, they're smaller than you; just force them!" just came into your head...uhm...only non-parents think that.  Trust me.  If a child doesn't want to quit crying, you can't make them be quiet.  I can't tell you how many times I simply walked away from a full shopping cart in Wal-Mart when Connor was a baby!  It wasn't worth the meltdown dramatics I was having to endure, so I just left the store.  There isn't one thing for sale that I need so badly that I'm willing to subject myself to that kind of stress!

There are tons of things about my kids that I don't want to forget; both good and bad.  And I'm sure I'll be filling this blog with them.  Tonight in church was a particularly difficult time with Sophie--she wanted to run and, basically not be in church--so the meltdown mode is on my mind tonight.  She's starting off with the tantrum antics normally associated with the terrible twos...and she started at 16 months!  Eeek!  That's the earliest of my kids yet!  Sheesh.  Well, it won't last long.  (**chanting over and over to self like a mantra**)  Before I know it we'll be past this phase and onto the next.  And there will be good things and bad things about that phase as well. 

But for now, I don't want to forget what it's like to mother a meltdown baby.  It's tough, to be sure.  So when I see that mother in the grocery store who is haggardly pushing her screaming toddler through the aisles, trying to make as hasty an exit as her list will allow, I will NOT look her way and give her an angry glare (you won't believe how many people do that!), but if I chance to pass her, I'll give her a sympathetic smile and say "I've done this many times myself!  I feel your pain!"  It's nice to know that someone understands.